There’s nothing like watching someone finally realize that a terrible breakup could be the best thing that ever happened to them. It might take a few weeks, a few months, or even a year to get to that place. (No shame, mine took a year!) But no matter how long it takes, the moment always feels just as good. So how do all of tphese people successfully get over their exes? Mostly by doing one small thing. There are 7 things to do after breakup.
Not talking to them
Breakups are rough. Sometimes they blindside you, and sometimes they hang on for dear life, torturing you until the final straw snaps. Nobody likes them, but for the most part they are a necessary evil of life. But the pain isn’t meant to be permanent — it’s meant to be a short-term shock to heart that we can all recover from. That is, unless you keep chatting it up.
Continuously texting, seeing, or speaking to an ex is holding onto a ghost of the relationship. The relationship is over. It’s not there anymore. So maintaining it only invests time and energy into something that didn’t work out. Instead you need to be working on closing the connection and dumping your resources into other outlets.
Eventually when both of you have moved forward from the relationship, then you can give some energy towards the connection again. But chances are, you will have moved on by then, and it won’t interest you as much as you thought it would.
Take care of yourself
Eat healthy, exercise and be mindful. This one can be exceptionally hard and may take some time to come around to, but it’s vital. Taking care of your body and your mind — your physical and mental health — is key when it comes to loving yourself. Not to mention, endorphins make the pain of heartbreak a little more bearable.
I know people who literally look themselves in the mirror every day and tell their reflections they love themselves. These people are not crazy; they’re smart. They know that when you love yourself, the people around you and the life you lead, life loves you right back. If the positive energy is out there, you will absorb it. Soon, the heartbreak that consumed you will feel like a distant memory. The love you had for yourself pre-relationship will return stronger than ever. You will realize that while you may have been lost for a short time there, you are not the loser in this breakup. You did not lose. You found the greatest love of all: Self-love.
Do not look for a rebound
One of the most bust-able break-up myths is looking for a rebound. This is definitely a no-no! You can never replace real love (if what you lost was even real at all). The one who got away will stay that way and getting involved with anyone you can’t imagine yourself with is a complete waste of time. Your young life shouldn’t be spent looking for a relationship every time you get out of one. It’s about time that you do it on your own.
Never use anyone just for the sake of not feeling lonely or alone. Know that sometimes, you’re going to have to know the feeling of being on your own. Being alone doesn’t mean that you don’t have friends or that no one likes to be with you. It’s just that sometimes, realizations come from no one else but yourself. What will dawn on you is boundless, priceless and definitely a lesson worth keeping. Whatever that may be is up to you.
Try something new to challenge yourself
When you’re picking up the pieces and trying to find yourself again, you can use it as an opportunity to better yourself. This something new doesn’t have to be huge; I’m not saying you need to go hike the Pacific Crest Trail to find yourself again. It can be something as small as singing karaoke. Doing something you wouldn’t have done before your relationship can feel like a win. Winning is fun.
Don’t dare to compare
Avoid the temptation to compare yourself to others! It’s tempting to flip through your Facebook feed and see all of the happy couples out for romantic dinners or families frolicking through the park in a picturesque setting. You see this and wonder when this same moment will happen for you again. But, screw that!
Everyone has their own life trajectory. You don’t have to follow a certain path of building a family, climbing the corporate ladder and living the “American Dream” that we’re so often sold. Life is about loving your own unique awesomeness and eventually finding a companion to amplify said awesomeness. And it will happen for you! I promise. But, comparing yourself to others will not help you there. Focus on yourself and being the best version of yourself possible. Great relationships will follow.
Surround yourself with great people
Chances are you won’t want to spend a lot of time alone right after a breakup. It reminds you of what you lost (or what you think you lost). Spend your time with your best friends: enjoy their company, laugh and be social. Your best friends are your rocks. They’re going to support you on the good days, the bad days and every day in between.
The holidays are a notorious culprit when it comes to breakups. Maybe it’s the added stress of spending so much time with family, the way the holidays force a kind of intimacy on couples who might not be ready for it, or just the definitive marker of the end of the year. Either way, it’s the broken hearted who deserve a trip, preferably one where you can commune with like-minded souls.
The best solution
If you tried all 7 things to do after breakup above and you are still unable to overcome, let it be. Do not care about any other advice, please remain true to your feelings. It’s ok to be sad. After bored a while, you will be happy on a beautiful day.
When the person you love walks away from you, you’re not just picking up the pieces; you’re finding them all over again. Because whether you like it or not, you’re different. You aren’t the same person you were before you met him/her, and you’re never going to be that person again. Try 7 things to do after breakup to get over.